


Loki's rainy day

by awesome_goddess_of_mischief



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, BAMF Bucky Barnes, Banishment, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Happy Ending, Homelessness, Hurt Loki, Hurt/Comfort, Loki Feels, Loki's Punishments, Loki-centric, M/M, Mind Control, Odin's A+ Parenting, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Sweet Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 09:19:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6188860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesome_goddess_of_mischief/pseuds/awesome_goddess_of_mischief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is living homeless in the cold dark corners of New York.<br/>He tries to pay for his crimes by giving all he can, until all he has left are the thin ragged clothes on his body.</p>
<p>Does Thor want to kill him like Odin said?</p>
<p>What happens when Loki has nothing left to give but his life?</p>
<p>((Pairings could be seen as platonic if you really want to, rating is due to language -Bucky has no T rated filter.))</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loki's rainy day

**Author's Note:**

> This is tagged as eating disorder because Loki hasn't eaten in quite some time, not due to choice, but the matter is briefly discussed so mind your triggers people!
> 
> I hope you all like this, it's rather heart breaking, so be prepared.

Somewhere in a dark alley in a far corner of New York, behind two empty warehouses in one of the worst neighbourhoods of the city, a dark figure was curled up on the floor.

Rain was pouring down relentlessly on the shivering form.

 

The pale skinned male watched with dull green eyes as a young woman walked past. She carefully stepped closer, and when the raven haired male didn't move, the girl quickly ran to the nearby dumpster and searched for something useful.

Of course, nothing was to be found. Not in this area.

 

The girl sniffed and wrapped her thin arms around her own chest. She suddenly stepped back, terrified, as the male figure stood up and walked towards her. 

He quickly raised his thin hands, trying to show he meant no harm.

 

There, in that dark and stinking alley, the man took off his thin jacket, and carefully handed it to the girl. She accepted with shaking hands, quickly wrapping it around her shoulders to protect her soaked body from the rain. 

"There is some bread in the right pocket." The male whispered softly, as to not scare the girl.

 

The girl her eyes widened, she grabbed the bread, looked at it in wonder... And then ran off.

The man couldn't blame her. It was a mere matter of survival.

The former god of mischief slumped back in his corner, hunched in on himself, dressed in only a pair of tattered pants and a torn shirt. He had given his shoes away ages ago. And now his final thing to give, the jacket, was in better hands as well.

 

He would have to get back to the richer part of the city to gather some more supplies, to hand out here, where people needed them more. 

The dumpsters in the centre of the city had good clothing, warm things. To help people through the winter. 

It was also more difficult to come, since he could not afford getting caught.

A sigh escaped the once prince, and tired green eyes closed.   
Loki fell asleep while rain poured down upon his aching body.

 

-))(•)((-

 

Up at the highest floor of Stark tower, people were yelling. 

A lot.

"What do you mean he escaped?!"

"How can you not know where he is??! Aren't you suppose to have some clever gate keeper?!"

"What the fuck Thor! He should be rotting in a cell, not walking around freely!!"

 

The god of thunder was simply waiting for his friends to stop yelling. Yes, they were friends now. After all, it had been more than a year since the invasion, and they had worked together many times since then. By the nine, they even lived together in Stark tower.

Finally, when the team realised Thor wasn't answering them, they quieted down.   
It was only then that the prince of Asgard spoke up.

"My friends, allow me to explain, please. We have discussed this before, and I know it is hard for you to believe, but my brother is innocent." Before hell could break loose again, Thor raised a hand and glared. "Let me finish!" He said in his thundering voice, before calmly continuing as if nothing had happened. "We have found a lot of evidence pointing to one conclusion, Loki was under the control of the mind gem during his invasion. As our friend Clint was. Though the good eye of hawk was only controlled for a matter of days, while my brother was controlled for years. During his trial, it was found his mind and body had been broken by Thanos. Leaving him an empty shell to control. Only when the mighty green beast shook his mind, was he freed from the grasp." Thor concluded and sighed, suddenly looking like the ancient creature he was. "Father believes my brother escaped out of fear of being punished for something he did not do. They do not know where he currently is, but the Allfather has sent out people to search all over the nine realms. I am simply begging you... Do not kill my brother when you see him. He is innocent..."

 

Silence lingered heavily in the tower, the Avengers looking shocked at their demigod teammate. 

Tony waved his hand and made a few screens pop up, all showing Loki through security cameras. "Thor... What colour are Loki's eyes?" The engineer asked seriously, getting an immediate answer. 

"Green, as the forest."

Stark nodded with a sour face, the images zoomed in on Loki's eyes. 

"Blue." Clint breathed as he slowly lowered himself on the couch, obviously shocked. 

"Yeah, blue. Except for this one." Tony said as he showed the image of after the hulk smashing Loki. His eyes were half green and half blue, the battle between freedom and control. It had only lasted a few minutes with Barton, but hours with Doctor Selvig.  
And they all realised right there and then: After years of control... It could take a long time before the blue had vanished. More than enough time to have Loki gagged and locked away. Silenced forever. Locked away an innocent man.

 

This time Clint broke the terrifying silence. "If he... I..." The archer took a deep breath before continuing. "It was a horror. Not being able to control anything. And that only for a few days. I could not imagine what more than a year would do to someone... I will not shoot Loki if I see him. No one deserves to go through that, and I understand him for running. I almost did the same. Only I had friends to ground me. They just locked Loki away." Barton whispered before getting to his feet and quickly walking out, probably to the range to shoot away the tension and memories. 

Natasha stood up and nodded. "I agree with the Hawk. I will not shoot at your brother." She spoke calmly before following Clint.

 

Bruce looked a little nervous, fumbling with his sleeve. "I won't harm him. I don't know about the other guy though." He whispered and Tony just shrugged.

"I'll just drag the hulk away if it comes to it. No worries big guy. Now come on doc, time for science!" Stark said before dragging Bruce along to the labs.

 

Steve, Bucky, and Thor were left over. 

Thor sat down on the couch with his head in his hands, Steve clasped a comforting hand on the god's shoulders. They all knew Steve's answer, he would never harm an innocent man.

"He is out there somewhere captain. Running in fear of his life. While he should be warm and safe, protected. He needs help to heal his mind." Thor whispered as he looked outside the windows as if he would be able to spot his brother.

Bucky silently looked at the two blondes. The brunette would never be able to harm a victim of mind control.

Steve squeezed Thor's shoulder and sighed. "I know how you feel Thor. But just remember, he is safe. He has his magic, and his immortality, he is safe." The captain whispered with memories of his broken friend next to him fresh in his mind. "We will find him. If he is out there somewhere, we will find him."

 

-))(•)((-

 

Said god was completely oblivious to the words spoken in the tower. 

It was late at night, or very early in the morning actually, and Loki had snuck through alleys and small empty streets to get where he was. 

The homeless shelter. It was one of the richest ones of the city, funded by no other than Tony Stark. Loki stood there for a moment, he didn't want to take from people who deserved better. And so when a woman came his way looking worried and carrying a warm blanket, he bolted. There were other people in need of that, no matter how tempting it seemed to be warm and dry for a change. He didn't deserve such luxuries.

 

The former prince made his way to the dumpster behind a fancy clothing store. It was a well hidden secret that they threw away clothing more than decent. Simply because of small faults. But a coat was a coat. And a pair of sneakers was a pair of sneakers. Who cared about the wrong colour of shoelaces? 

As Loki filled an old pillow case with as much clothing as he could fit and find, he heard footsteps behind him. He quickly grabbed the makeshift bag and ran. He ran and ran until his bare feet were bleeding, he kept running long after the footsteps stopped. 

Back at the bad part of town, Loki sat down between two dumpsters to check what he got. 

Last time he came up empty, the gang that had followed him now, had caught him back then. All he left with were some broken bones and bruises everywhere. 

This time he got two pairs of shoes with a few scratches, a few warm discoloured sweaters, a scarf with a small hole in it, and a pair of jeans from which one leg was shorter than the other. 

Over all, a really good catch. He could help people with this.

 

As soon as the sun came rising above the horizon, Loki searched for those without anything. And he gave them all he had found.

The shoes went to those without, the sweaters to those shivering and close to freezing, the jeans to a young man who could use them to look a bit presentable and maybe get a job.

Eventually only the scarf was left. It felt so smooth in the god's hands, soft and warm. For a split second he thought about keeping it for himself, it could help him in the fast approaching winter. But as soon as the thought came, it was gone again. Help him in the winter... While it could be helping someone else? By Helheim, no.

The scarf ended up in the hands of an old woman.

 

No one thanked him, but he didn't want to be thanked.

He only wished to help.

 

-))(•)((-

 

A month passed, and the rainy fall turned into the relentless New York winter. 

Loki noticed less and less people in the area where he stayed. The mortals had all risked going closer to the heart of the city, where there were charities giving out clothes and food. And sometimes even a warm place to stay. 

Out of dark shadows, hidden carefully, Loki looked at people passing by. Such a busy city. So many people who would celebrate their holidays with a smaller family, because of him. He had killed so many.

 

A shiver ran through the god, and he curled up tighter. Four times already, someone had found him and handed him something warm. Whether it be clothing or food, he had given it away immediately.

He had only caved once. He was just so hungry... And he had gotten a plastic cup of soup that smelled so good. He had only taken a sip before realising what he was doing, and quickly finding someone who could use it.

The taste still lingered on his tongue. Teasing him with something he shouldn't get.

 

Snow fell heavily upon the streets, and Loki had nothing left to give. The only things he had were his thin summer pants and T-shirt, protecting his modesty. No one would accept the ratty pieces of clothing anyway, and so Loki tried to push the guilt away from having anything he didn't deserve.

He had to find another way to help people. To pay back his debt. 

But the only thing he had left to give, was his life.

 

-))(•)((-

 

It was a brutal winter. And the Avengers were trying to do whatever they could to help. 

Funding to shelters was increased as much as they could, they went outside to offer warm clothing and food to the people on the streets. But of course, villains wouldn't stop their evil plans and go work in a soup kitchen.

And so the battles continued as usual.

Except for one small thing.

 

It all started with a mission against some enchanted snowmen. Seriously. Tony was so done as soon as he heard. 

"Snowmen? Seriously? Couldn't they at least get us something original to fight?" The engineer asked annoyed as he blasted the head off of one. They legitimately shot carrots and snowballs at everything that moved. It was annoying more than anything else.

 

It only took a few minutes to have them all reduced to piles of half molten snow. While Clint was muttering something about waste of ammunition, the snow beneath their feet started to move. 

Every defeated snowmen seemed to melt together to -you guessed it- one giant snowman.

"Hey lightning guy, could this be your brother's way of saying merry Christmas?" Tony asked as he flew around the beast, shooting continually.

"Nay, the small ones may have, but not this. It causes too much destruction, Loki would never do such a thing voluntarily." Thor answered gravely before slamming right into the snowman.

 

Once more, it didn't take long to bring the thing down. Clint, Natasha, and even Bruce, were all just getting civilians out of the way.

They were just clearing out another street as the snow monster started to fall. "Shit shit shit." Tony cursed as Steve yelled in his comms to get those people out of there. Now!

The three Avengers present ushered people away, carried children out of danger and...   
There was a boy left. A young child crying and clutching his ankle. Bruce wanted to run forward to try and protect him. But he was held back by Clint. It was too late.

The snow landed relentlessly on the cold streets. Silence fell on the crowd. 

A boy cried.

 

There, from the cloud of lingering snow, the little boy came limping forward. His mother ran towards him and scooped him up, crying in happiness and relief.

"Mommy, a hero saved me. He saved me." The boy mumbled happily.

 

Bruce looked up in surprise, just in time to see a thin figure speeding off.

 

-))(•)((-

 

"So what did you see Bruce?" Clint asked curiously, once all Avengers were warmly wrapped in blankets and working through debrief.

Banner had his hands wrapped around a steaming mug of tea and looked thoughtful, trying to remember as clearly as possible. "The big snowman was falling. And we were trying to clear the street. There were people screaming..." The scientist closes his eyes as he recalled the event. "There was a boy. His ankle strained. He was crying. I wanted to run towards him. But Clint stopped me. Which was a good thing, because it would have killed me for sure. There was snow hanging in the air once the creature had fallen down... And suddenly we heard the boy crying again. He came stumbling from the cloud and his mother scooped him up. The kid kept mumbling about a hero that saved him. And then... I saw someone running off, but... It didn't make any sense." Bruce muttered confused, staring down at his cup.

"What didn't?" Natasha asked carefully.

"The way he was dressed. I could see... Only a T-shirt. He was so thin.  Ragged. Injured. He looked homeless. And he saved a life. I... I just... No one could survive this cold in only a T-shirt. I want to find him. He deserves recognition for the life he saved." The brunette said firmly.

Steve nodded in agreement. "You are right. Whoever this was, he deserves a reward."

"All nice and dandy Cap, and I agree. But how do you wanna do that? As soon as we let the crowd know some unknown individual saved a life, they will form lines claiming they're the ones who did it. We won't find the right guy. 'Cause the right guy probably won't step forward." Tony said with a bitter tone.

 

Silence fell over the table, they knew he was right. But they didn't like it.

What they didn't know back then, was that that same figure would be popping up many times more...

 

-))(•)((-

 

Rough coughs wracked through a thin gaunt frame. Loki clutched his chest and curled up tighter. He knew it had been a mere matter of time before an illness would catch up on him. The cold and malnutrition had finally rendered his body vulnerable for those mortal diseases.

 

The Jotnar managed to straighten a little, and from where he was sitting he could just about look at a TV in some diner. He could see the news playing. Something he had been monitoring for weeks now. 

Since he no longer had anything to give away, he had to repay his debt another way. The idea came to mind when he happen to saw the news last month. There was an attack going on with some strange snow creatures. Loki had sneaked to the spot as quick as his weary body could manage, only to find the Avengers had already won. 

That's when he saw the child in danger. Without even thinking, the god had ran forward and pushed the boy aside. It had gotten him some ugly gashes and bruising, but the child was unharmed. That was all that mattered. 

Loki thought someone might have seen him, but the mortals never spoke of it on their informative channels, and so the god had brushed it off.

 

Now, between coughs, he tried to keep an eye on the news. As soon as something would happen, he would be there. If he could save someone, anyone, he would be useful. He had only saved a handful of people so far, but he would save more. He just had to make sure the Avengers wouldn't notice him. After that first time he tried to be more careful, though he was certain he had gotten spotted a few times. Definitely during that time where he had thrown a woman out of a building caught on fire during a dragon attack. His arms still ached from the burns he got that day...

 

A sound on the TV brought Loki back from his memories and there it was, after days of waiting, and the mortal holiday of Christmas only days away, another attack took place. 

Loki stumbled to his feet, and started running.

 

-))(•)((-

 

"Fucking hell!!" Tony yelled frustrated when he landed at the scene. Honest to god Santas. Fucking Santas were throwing coal at everyone.

Steve made a comment about cursing on the comms, but he couldn't disagree. After all, really? This was getting insane.

 

And just when it seemed the Avengers could easily overpower the strange clone Santas, they started throwing Christmas ornaments. The glass balls flew everywhere. Some where filled with some sort of burning liquid, spreading fire everywhere. Others had explosives, or acid. It was brutal.

Natasha and Bruce were clearing the streets with Steve as their backup. Hawkeye, Iron Man, and Thor, were up in the air shooting the damn creatures. 

Steve was fighting off Santas and dodging multiple ornaments when there was a shout from Natasha.

The Captain turned to see a glass ball flying his way, he blocked it with his shield, causing an explosion. It forced him back against a wall, making him fall to the floor. With a groan the supersoldier tried to push himself up once more. 

He saw another ball coming his way, but he knew he couldn't get away soon enough. He wouldn't get his shield quick enough. He would be- 

Nothing.

 

Steve opened his eyes, not even realising he had closed them, and saw a dark figure laying on the floor.

He was immediately recognised as the strange figure saving lives during missions for the past month. 

There was only one difference... He was curled up on the floor grabbing his face. The acid..!

 

Thor had ran over and smashed the nearest Santas down. The god helped Steve to his feet before kneeling beside the frail creature refusing to move. A pained sound came from the blond god of thunder as Tony landed beside them. 

"Wow... Is that...? No way." He muttered while Thor scooped up the black haired man and held him close. 

"Loki... Brother... Please speak to me..."

 

Bruce took a careful look at Loki and cursed softly. "Thor, whether that is Loki or not, that man needs medical attention. And quick. He was hit with one of those acid things." 

Thor just nodded, spun Mjölnir, and flew off with his brother unconscious in his arms.

 

The other Avengers quickly made their way to the waiting jet to be brought to medical themselves. Steve needed some patching, and so did Clint.

Besides... Loki was the one saving all those lives...?

 

-))(•)((-

 

Loki's head was pounding. The god was completely disorientated. He couldn't remember where he was.

Somewhere dry and soft... And warm. He was somewhere comfortable.

 

His eyes flew open and he tried to look around. But only saw blurred shapes, everything seemed to be out of focus, and it made his head ache even more. That was nothing compared to the burning pain on his arms and chest though. It felt like the burns he got in the building, but worse. 

Then he finally remembered.

 

The acid... The Captain... 

So where was he? Obviously a bed... But in a hospital? He shouldn't be here.

 

Suddenly there was a pressure around Loki's hand he hadn't felt before through the pain. The thin god immediately tried to pull free, to no avail. Panic set in right away and made his breathing speed up. He couldn't see who it was by his bedside. He only saw red and silver... Oh no...

"Brother... Please ease your breathing. You are safe."

Loki only panicked more when he heard his brother. The god managed to pull his hand loose, more because Thor didn't want to hurt his younger brother than anything else, and crawled off the bed. He couldn't see where he was going, and in his panic he fell off the soft mattress onto the cold floor. A pained whimper escaped him, but the terrified god crawled to the corner of the room and curled up shaking. He couldn't leave. He couldn't see.

And Thor was here... 

Tears streamed down Loki's cheeks, stinging the wounds on his face. He had his arms thrown over his head to protect him from the blows he expected instinctively.

 

Thor sat shocked on the chair for a moment. He had never expected such response.   
The god of thunder calmly walked towards the corner and sat down a few feet away from Loki, hoping giving him his space would help. 

"Loki... Please... No one shall harm you. There will be no ill will coming towards you. You are safe. And I shall protect you." Thor spoke surprisingly soft, although the worry was audible in his voice.

 

Loki was absolutely shocked by the lack of pain coming from his bro- no not his brother, Thor's hands. Odin had said... Had the king lied? 

The raven haired god peaked over his arms towards where Thor was crouched down. His sight continued to be blurry, no matter how often he blinked. It was terrifying and frustrating. How would he be able to pay back his debt in this state?

"Can you see me brother? Doctor Banner said you may experience a temporary lack of sight. I assured him that with your magic, you could heal it instantly." Thor sounded almost worried, which was madness. The thunder god had no reason to be worried about his monstrous little brother.

"Magic?" Loki asked in a voice rough with disuse and disease. A pained chuckle escaped him, causing him to cough painfully. "Oh Thor... You do not need to worry... The Allfather has locked my magic safely away. I cannot harm anyone even if that was my desire. Alas, surely you are already aware of this."

 

The god of mischief rested his aching head back against the cold wall as he fumbled with the soft sleeve of a warm comfortable sweater he was wearing. As his vision was clouded by the acid, he couldn't see the heartbroken look on Thor's face, nor notice the shock that rendered the thunderer speechless.

"Now please, stop with the charity and do as Odin has commanded you. I know you desire my death. So do it. I only ask of you not to leave me waiting. Please... Bro- Thor. I beg of you, I cannot stand the pain any longer. Take what you wish for and bring joy to the Nine." Loki was shaking horribly, curling up subconsciously as he expected the blow to come any second. Mjölnir would rise, thunder would flash outside, and the fallen prince would be chased from the realm of the living. Perhaps his death would finally bring a smile back on the face of his mother. 

It worked the first time he tried to kill himself. Thanos showed him how Frigga smiled more than she had in decades now that the burden of the monster in her home was relieved.

 

Thor finally managed to overcome his shock with pure unadulterated confusion. "Brother... What are you saying? What is this foolishness? I would never desire your death! Nor dream of harming you."

"No... No no no... Stop it!!" Loki suddenly yelled as his face contracted in horrible agony. "Please... Stop... Do not torture me any longer. I will not fall for your lies. Odin told me himself! He cast me out without magic so I could pay for my crimes. He told me to keep hidden from you for you would surely slaughter me on sight. He _told_ me you asked for my blood. That you demanded my execution. As all of Asgard did. So stop lying and just kill me!!" Oh it hurt so much. Why couldn't Thor just end it. Were his crimes as bad to warrant such punishment? Was Thor set on making him feel safe before taking his life?

Thor moved forward, and Loki did not even flinch. He simply closed his eyes and waited for death. 

Instead... He felt warm broad arms wrap around his thin shoulders, holding him with care. Not malice.

 

"Oh brother... Please do believe me. I do not know what father has told you, but he _lied_. I do not wish you harm. In fact, I plead for your innocence before the court. The Allfather told me he sent people to search for you, to bring you home safe. I-   
Loki, have you been without magic all this time? On your own?" Thor plead to his younger sibling, holding him close.

 

Slightly milky and inflamed eyes looked up at the source of those kind words. Those traitorous words that sparked hope within the god of mischief. "Thor... Surely you are not as foolish as to believe I am innocent? I fell for Thanos' feet like the worthless Jotnar I am. I murdered hundreds of innocent mortals. I simply proved once more that I am a monster. Please Thor, cease these lies. I cannot bare them any longer."

Thor choked out an intensely sad sound and held Loki even closer against his warm broad chest. "Loki... My sweet Loki. You were as guilty as I was. You were tortured and used for someone else's goals. Believe me when I say the court believes in your innocence. Official orders were given to remove you from the dungeons and place you comfortably in your chambers under house arrest until it could be proven there were no remains of the mindgem left. You deserved a warm bed, good food, and your books to entertain you. Your family around you. Not this... The good doctor believes you would have died had you been mortal..."

 

Loki swallows thickly and looks down at his thin hands. He knows that. He knows what his body can withstand and knows it is much more than any mortal could bare. But why would Thor be bothered by this? Could his words be true? 

"Thor...?" Loki looks up at his once brother with wide, vulnerable, and unseeing eyes. "D- Does this mean I can come home now?" His voice was small, soft, and absolutely heartbreaking.

 

In response, Thor brushes a hand through the soft black hair and nods. "Yes brother, you can stay here with me until Asgard is safe for both of us."

 

-))(•)((-

 

After the conversation, emotions caught up and Loki's eyes fell shut as he drifted off to sleep once more, Thor's hand a comforting warmth on his back.

The thunderer gently lifted his brother up and carried him back to the soft bed, covering him with some extra blankets to cease the shivering.

  
And just as Thor walked out the room to go grab something to eat, the alarms went off.

 

-))(•)((-

 

This time when Loki woke his headache was a lot less harsh, and when the god blinked he happily noticed a big improvement in his vision. It was still a little blurred, but at least he could make out shapes easily now. 

Also, the dark figure sitting curled up on the foot end of the bed, staring at him.

 

Immediately, Loki scrambled back and tried to make himself as small and least threatening as possibly.

"Wait..." 

The voice of the strange figure was slightly rough and definitely male, though soft at the same time.

Loki automatically froze and stared at the man with wide green eyes.

 

"I won't hurt ya."

 

This time the god simply raised a sceptical eyebrow. Even if he were to ignore his centuries of experience, his long year on Midgard had already taught Loki never to trust anyone.

Apparently the man had expected that, because he let out a small bitter chuckle before elaborating. "Look, ya saved Steve when I couldn't. I'm not gonna hurt the guy who saved my punk."

 

Steve? Oh, the Captain. Loki dug through his mind and frowned slightly. "Sergeant Barnes?" He guessed softly. After all, the whole of Midgard had exploded when the soldier had come back from the death only to announce he was in a relationship with the Captain. Those... Gossip magazines... They were filled with "news" of the two. Loki had saved Steve, and therefore Barnes wouldn't harm him. That fact made the prince relax just a little bit.

Bucky grinned and nodded. "Yep, that's me. You've got a clever brain in there Lokes." The sergeant said kindly as he moved to a more relaxed cross legged position.

Loki almost opened his mouth to argue that his name was Loki, but decided against it. Lokes... It almost sounded like a nickname.

He never had a nickname before.

 

"T- Thank you..." The god stuttered slightly and finally uncurled a bit to face the other man properly. "Why are you here? Where's Thor?" Had his bro- not brother- abandoned him already?

"Oh the others are out fighting. Some Doombots. Again." Bucky said bored as he leaned back comfortably against the headboard. "I'm here 'cause I'm not cleared for battle yet. And wanted to make sure you wouldn't wake up alone." He ends with a small shrug.

Loki blinks in surprise, he hadn't expected that answer. "Oh... Thank you. There was no need to. I am used to waking up alone." He said without truly thinking about it.

"Fuck. You know, you shouldn't say that in front of Stevie. It'll break his giant ass heart." Bucky said as he looked at Loki with intense brown eyes.

"Pardon? I do not understand."

 

Barnes sighed and leaned forward a little. "Look, the team sort of kinda already cares for you. With the whole mind control thing, and the amount of times you saved civilians when we couldn't. And you saved Steve. 

We thought you were hiding somewhere comfortable, with your magic, safe and sound and whatnot. Then you suddenly jump before Steve, and let me tell you, your face was a mess. Then Banner finds out you have barely eaten for like a year. Seriously, what the hell happened to you?"

 

Loki curled up again and rested his head on his knees. He thought it over for a moment and decided to explain. It was somehow easier to tell everything to this man who was practically a stranger, and yet, had almost treated him as a friend.

"After I was taken back to Asgard my mind slowly cleared. Once I came to, I was locked away in my cell. I begged my mother to plead my case for the court and she agreed. Alas, I never heard any more and thought she had forgotten or changed her mind. That is, until the Allfather came down to my cell with a dozen guards. He explained that the court was asking for my head but he would spare my life. The guards took me to the bifrost as Odin further explained that my magic would be taken from me to make it harder for me to be found and to ensure the safety of the mortals.

He advised me to stay away from Thor for he would surely slaughter me on sight. Finally I was cast out to never return. For my own safety and to pay for my crimes." Loki ends softly and curls up a little tighter. "I gave all I had and tried to pay back a little for all the lives I had taken." The god swallows thickly, his gaze distant. "After a while I had nothing left to give. And so... I- I mean..."

 

"You started helping us out." Bucky whispers softly, receiving a small nod in return. "You saved so many lives Loki. Even though you had no debt to pay off in the first place."

 

"No debt to pay off?" For a brief second Loki looked like the powerful god he once was; eyes harsh and face a cold stone mask. The only emotion that could be seen was pure hatred. "I murdered hundreds of your kind. Surely you are not as foolish as Thor. With his whole disbelief."

Loki was hissing angrily, Bucky quickly realised the anger and hatred were aimed at himself instead of the soldier.

"I. Killed. Hundreds.

I'm a monster. A murderer. A criminal. I should have stayed locked away." With each word that fell off the god's lips, his anger disappeared and was exchanged with defeat. With sadness, grief, and unfiltered agony.

He let out a defeated sigh and curled up even tighter, staring emptily into the distance. "I am grateful for your hospitality. Even though I do not deserve it. I shall leave the second my sight returns to me."

 

Bucky sat there in shock as he listened and watched the injured Jotnar let out his emotions. The soldier frowned and glared at the god.

"Like hell you are." He growled softly, causing green eyes to widen. "You are not going anywhere. And you're certainly not going back out there to live on the streets again. If you go, it will be to a warm apartment close by. So you can visit whenever you want and Thor can hang out at your place."

"M- My place? This... This makes no sense. Why are you so kind to me? And Thor... I... I can't-" Loki's breathing was speeding up a little as he tried not to panic. What did they want from him?

"Look, Thor told us that apparently, the court on Asgard decided you're innocent. They wanted to have you moved to your own room under supervision, you know, until they were sure there wasn't any mind control left. Like they did with me." Bucky explains. "Odin told everyone you escaped and that he had sent out search parties for you. He lied to everyone. Including Thor. Your brother does care for you you know."

 

Loki opened his mouth to reply when the door opened to show Thor in his full armour, still covered in the grime from battle. "Brother! You have woken!" He boomed as he made his way over to the bed and carefully embraced the younger prince.

 

The trickster allowed the hug for a moment before pushing Thor off. "Thor, you reek. Could you not have washed before bursting in here?"

Thor chuckles softly as he simply took a small step back. "I am glad to hear you act a more like yourself brother. I was worried, though I see Barnes has been keeping you company."

"Yeah I just told 'm 'bout the whole Odin thing." Bucky said as he got to his feet and stretched out briefly. "I'm gonna check on the others. Lokes, come join us for dinner in like ten minutes. You need to eat. You're too damn skinny." The soldier pointed out before silently slipping out of the room.

 

-))(•)((-

 

"How's he doing?"

 

Bucky had barely entered the communal living room before getting a worried Steve speaking up.

"Don't worry punk, he's awake. His eyes are healing. Mentally? He's a wreck though. He has worse self esteem issues than all of us combined." The brunette mumbled as he sat down with his feet on the table, an arm around the Captain. "He'll be out to eat soon. So how did the fight go?"

 

As the team gave Bucky a quick summary of what happened -something to do with giant lobsters- the food was delivered and the table set. The Avengers and their significant others made their way to the dining room. Jane arrived while chatting with Darcy about something sciency, sitting down on her regular seat next to Thor's still empty chair. Her intern switched to telling Natasha all about her day. The normally cold assassin allowed a small smile and bumped their shoulders together, their hands loosely entwined under the table.

 

While Bruce listened to Tony explaining the new specs for the latest Iron Man suit, there were loud footsteps heard; announcing the tower's own live-in electricity generator.

"My friends! I am glad to see you all gathered here for this fine feast!" He boomed before walking over to his seat, sitting down, and happily kissing Jane until the scientist was blushing madly.

 

And there, standing shyly in the door opening, was Loki. His arms crossed and his eyes down, he appeared as small as possible.

Bucky shared a glance with Steve and patted the empty chair besides him. "Hey Lokes, there's a seat for you here."

The prince sat down silently, a small frown on his face while looking around with something quite familiar to the agents present. Loki was checking for exits, danger, and possible weapons. He was scared.

"You okay?" Bucky asked while leaning a little bit closer, slow enough so Loki would notice.

 

"Oh, ah, yes. I am well enough. I was simply wondering what the purpose of this meeting was." Was the muttered answer.

Barnes raises an eyebrow and softly explained. "It isn't a meeting. It's dinner. You know, friends and family. Eating together."

 

Loki only appeared more confused and frowned deeper at his empty plate before looking at Bucky. "Then why am I here? Shouldn't I be eating somewhere else?"

 

Silence fell over the table as if someone turned off the speakers. One could hear a pin drop. Or in this case, hear Steve's glass shatter. 

Loki suddenly looked even more self conscious and quickly got to his feet. "I- I'm sorry. I'll just be off. T- Thank you for your k- kindness." He stuttered and ran off.

 

-))(•)((-

 

Steve followed right after Bucky who was the first to come over his shock and get to his feet. 

The two soldiers almost flew down the stairs with the speed they were going. As they reached the bottom floor the elevator was still half way. Both men were anxious to Loki's response when the god would see them standing there.

Finally the elevator doors opened to show... Nothing?

 

Oh wait... Loki was curled up in a corner, hiding his face and crying softly, muffling miserable coughs. Steve was suddenly hit with how _small_ Loki looked at that moment.

 

Bucky walked into the metal cabin loudly, making sure the prince heard him, and sat down next to him. "Hey Lokes."

"I'm sorry." Loki whispered between small sniffles. "I'll be o- out in a se- second. I just n- need a m- minute." He stuttered as he looked up at the other man fearful and sad.

Steve joined the two and sat cross legged opposite of them. "Loki, you do not have to leave. You saved my life. You saved dozens of lives. You're practically family. We want you to stay." The Captain said softly before shrugging out of his grey vest and gently wrapping it around Loki's too thin shoulders.

 

"J? Take us back up please. I'm starving." Bucky said up to the ceiling before grinning at the two others and simply wrapping an arm around both of them.

 

-))(•)((-

 

It was months later that found Loki finally passing Bruce's physical test. He could stop the extra nutrition drinks but would have to follow a strict diet until his weight had gotten more steady.

 

Though, over all, he was a lot healthier. His energy was certainly improved. In the beginning Loki slept more than anything else. When he could be woken, he would be found with the resident super soldiers; watching movies or simply sitting around them with a book.

For the first time since the prince could remember he had friends.

 

Of course, not all was rainbows and unicorns. Loki had tried to run away on several occasions, succeeding twice, when he got overwhelmed or had a nightmare or simply a Bad Day.

Those days he would barely speak, only to Bucky and Steve.

 

 

Lately there had been an interesting development though.

 

It all started after a Bad Day. Thor had left for Asgard to plead Loki's case before Odin again, and as always, it left Loki twitchy and uncomfortable. As if the absence of his brother would get him kicked out.

That night brought nightmares for the prince. Thanos looming over him, claiming his lack of worth, was simply the beginning. So much pain filled his mind and escaped in a loud scream.

Barely a minute later there were warm comfortable arms wrapped around his shaking form, holding him and whispering soft comforts. Another hand brushed through his hair and handed him a glass of water. 

Bucky and Steve had gotten notified of Loki's nightmare by Jarvis. It had happened before, and so far the god had shied away afterwards.

 

However, this time the prince curled up between the two soldiers and let out his tears. He cried for the pain he suffered at Thanos' hands. For the deaths he caused under mind control. And for the life he wanted and thought he could never have.

That night Loki slept with his head on a warm broad chest and his hands clutching a metal hand desperately. Framed by two warm bodies he rested without trouble or ache.

 

From that moment on, whenever Loki had a nightmare, the soldiers would hold him as they slept.

 

 

Perhaps, one day in the future, there could be a moment where Bucky and Steve would sit down together. They would discuss their growing affection for the trickster, admit their love. And maybe, just maybe, they would carefully ask Loki out to dinner. The three of them.

 

Who knows what could happen?

Frigga might kick Odin's ass and give Loki his magic back. The god of mischief might fill the tower with laughter when he dyes Thor's hair dark green.

Those soldiers might take Loki out dancing. They might go on double dates with Nat and Darcy. Or tease Tony for finally pulling his head out of his ass and taking Bruce out.   
  
They might just...

 

...live happily ever after.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all liked it, don't hesitate to leave a plot, feedback, or just say hi :*


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